For Realz Y'All!

You may think that's a shout-out to Britney (and in a way, it sure is) but I'm guilty of uttering the above phrase more than once lately. Maybe it's my ever-growing youth obsession, or maybe I need to lay off "The Number One Hit Music Station." Whatever it is, it recently became clear that it was time to insert some maturity into my vernacular. Case in point, a recent IM exchange between me and my friend John:

John: (Something stupid requiring the requisite "whatever" response...)
Me: Whatevs
John: Whatevs?
Me: Yeah, it the hipper, cooler form of "whatever"
John: Right, that's the second "whatevs" I've gotten in 5 minutes.
Me: (Wondering who could be so hip and cool as me...) Who was the first?
John: California Jen

Ouch. No offense to the lovely California Jen, but she was the latest in a slew of 22 year old "hotties" in the far-older John's harem, (a different kind of youth obsession to be sure). Ok, so maybe I was all about getting on board the anti-aging train, but was I in danger of being so "with it" that I was becoming one of those "old people" who thinks they're cool, when they are sooo not??

I decided to take look at the evidence. First of all, "whatevs" has been on the scene for a while - I actually picked it up from our twenty-something nanny. a year of hearing something day in and day out and it will eventually sink into you brain. So I find myself not guilty on that charge; score one for cool but not over-reaching.

So what else was big with the youth these days? Based on media coverage in the last week or so, there is nothing bigger than the Twilight saga and the premier of "New Moon". The throng of screaming girls lined up outside of the Today Show (some apparently waiting over a day just for a chance to catch a glimpse of Robert Pattinson), the endless radio coverage, and even the latest cover of my beloved Vanity Fair all lead me to believe that if I am anywhere near cool, I must have a burning desire to see this movie. So I have a confession - I don't. And not only that, I have never read the books, I haven't seen the first movie, and I really couldn't care less about any of its stars. I'll admit that trailer showing the werewolf transformation look kinda cool, but it's also confusing. I thought the whole thing was about vampires...could we pick an undead creature of the night and be done with it?? I felt myself settling comfortably into my semi-cool status.
Vampires and werewolves and Bella (oh my!) are not the only things on the over-obsessive minds of teens these days. Seems they have a new heartthrob in the form of 15-year-old Justin Bieber. In the last week, work travel has taken me to Toronto and Dallas and DC and home (home barely...stupid FAA computer system), and in every city, the robotic DJ's of the local Number One Hit Music Station are united in promoting this kid as pop musics next big thing. Sorry, but there is only one Justin for me - and I doubt this Bieber kid has what it take to be a mother-lover.

SNL ft Justin Timberlake 'Mother Lover'- Watch more Videos at Vodpod.

So it turns out I am not as bad off as I thought. Yes, my vocabulary and I are susceptible to the trends of the day (and on that topic - don't you think it's time we all layoff the use of douche bag and it's hipper, cooler cousin D-bag?), but as a lover of pop culture it's to be expected. Still, I'm not ashamed to chose Britney over Miley...even if Miley has earned a spot on my Ipod (noddin' my head like yeaaaah). And I am not as bad off as this guy:

Did you hear the one about the girl who can't stop sneezing?

It looks like the clock is winding down on the final seconds of fame for the Heene family. Reading today's news I learned that the Balloon Boy's parents have pleaded guilty to charges associated with their now-infamous hoax. One thing is for sure, Richard Heene sure knew what he was doing in creating a media spectical. I watched, riveted and terrified (and obviously fooled) as his jiffy-pop creation sailed his quirky brood into instant media stardom. Just what he wanted, and then, not. A short 48 hours and some lying-induced vomiting later, and it was over. No reality show to speak of, although the stunt did inspire some pseudo-creative yet still hilarious productions...so not a total loss.

We do some crazy things for fame; and because of our fascination with celebrity, we are pretty generous in granting it to those willing to put themselves out there. Reality TV has given us the power to make stars out of nobodies with our viewing and our votes. Doubt me?

So I wonder, is it worth it? After the public interest has waned in kooky haircuts and 22-year-old girlfriends, do our insta-celebs look back with regret? There is nary a happily married bachelor to speak of, yet plenty of embarrassed and heart-broken bachelorettes following each and every most dramatic rose ceremony ever. The original Survivor, Richard Hatch, is serving time for tax evasion and may soon have reality alum Adam from Big Brother as a cellmate. Disappointment is the odds-on favorite when it comes to taking a shot at reality stardom.
But I get it - we all chase our own star, right? I do. A few actually, some even with a reality-bent (although not with the special kind of crazy that drives Richard Heene). I may never be the female Ken Jennings or wow the world with my samba rolls, but it's the trying that keeps me going. Reaching, improving, growing, trying to achieve something. And when we fail, we focus on moving forward.

And sometimes, the universe just decides when it's time for your 15 minutes....

It's all about the Benjamins, baby...

...or in this case, the Lincolns - and I mean the kind that jingle, not fold. As I reviewed my blog stats for the day, I excitedly announced to my family that I had earned my first penny. To say they were unimpressed would be putting it mildly. My husband pondered the value of investing my evenings and weekend on a pursuit that was clear to yield so little, and my smarty-pants kid matter-o-factly stated that one penny was...well, crap...and continued transcribing his Santa list from the Toys-R-Us Big Book Christmas catalog.

But I'm not in it for the money, at least not wholly. The blog is for me, or at least writing it is. It's been too too many years since I've written anything that doesn't have to do with employment policy, and once upon a time I fancied myself a writer. Frankly, I do enough for other people all day long (year long, decade long), and lately I've been feeling like there is just not enough time for "me". A friend recently ask me what it was like working and raising a family. The truth is, it's a bitch. I know, it's the typical working-mom lament - work all day, and then turn in the laptop for my mom hat the second I step foot in the house. Dinner, homework, bath time, bedtime. Then my bedtime. On weekends I get to sub in grocery shopping and house cleaning and laundry and play dates for work. I'm doing good if I can squeeze in a workout on Saturday AND Sunday. I knew it had gotten bad when my husband told my son he couldn't go grocery shopping with me because "that's mommy's time." While I admittedly pray to the church of Danny Wegman, changes were in order.

It started with the dancing. Determined to carve out some johnna-time in the chaos, I looked for something that might also perk up my saggy...I mean, sagging...workout program. Park Avenue Dance Company seemed to offer the perfect solution. Their website boasted instruction for "dancers and non-dancers." Awesome. I could bust a move, get a work out in, and get a jump on my Dancing With The Stars training.

At the first class, I was a bit taken aback at the room full of 20-year-old actual dancers enrolled in the Beginning Contemporary Dance class. Turns out I fit into one of the categories, just not the one I expected.

Eight weeks in, and I have finally learned to walk in circles, frontwards and back. Trust me, that is harder than it sounds. But hey, I was having fun and mission johnna-time was making progress. And I liked it, it felt good to take one hour a week to do something just because I wanted to. Not because it was my job or because it needed to be done but because I was having fun. And that compelled me to make other changes, like going for a walk at lunchtime everyday instead of eating hunched over the pile of papers on my desk. I was on a roll. And the groceries still got bought and the homework still got done. The world did not end. Learning how to take some time for myself without feeling guilty about it made writing this blog easy. Internet notoriety, tango with Derek, here I come. The Benjamins will come eventually, or maybe not. As long as Lil Kim stays out of my way...

It's Not that Easy Being Green...

...not for me, and certainly not for Mother Earth these days. I know, you were expecting Kermit; but after 40 years Kermit and the Sesame Street gang are going strong and the same just can't be said for the green rock we call home. It's Sunday, and my mind is on groceries, taking out the recycling, and what socially-relevant topic to blog about. So it seems fitting that my blog post should be about my favorite cause - saving the planet; or at least my own journey down the path to green living...

Oh, I've gone green. I've reduced. I reuse. I recycle. I've low-flowed and florescent-bulbed. I've turned off lights and turned down the heat. I don't let my car run to warm-up in the winter - and I've suffered for it. I don't buy bottled water and have eschewed Styrofoam coffee cups at work in favor of my own reusable mug ; after a decade of SUV driving, I've moved on to a more fuel-efficient (albeit German-engineered) vehicle. For years I have slowly but surely given up the convenience of wastefulness in the hopes of making a difference. This year we're even going to compost the jack-o-lanterns. (Clearly it is time; they've gone from really scary to just plain frightening).

I was inspired; my oldest son developed a passion for animals at a young age. He absorbed every tidbit of knowledge he could about creatures big and small, and when he learned about the plight of the polar bears and their disappearing habitat, he was devastated. "Can we save them, Mom?" he asked, full of four-year-old earnest. And of course I promised him I would try...so we have been ever since. But as I trekked up the Wegman's parking lot, reusable shopping bags in tow, it occurred to me that lots and lots of people still just aren't trying. But why? Well, maybe they lacked inspiration - and just maybe I could provide some blog-based inspiring.

So back at home and ready to blog...this should be easy, right? A YouTube query for "green + planet" yields what seems to be just what I'm looking for "Save the Green Planet." Jackpot...

OK, so I may need to try a little harder at social-relevance, and a little less at horrifying unsuspecting visitors. Revise search to "global warming."

Closer...but will my target audience of newbie-greeners know what to do without step one? And are any of them speakers of Asian dialects? My blog seemed to be going a little off track. I thought back to my own original inspiration, and queried one more time..."Polar bears". And there it was, all full of the same little-kid-cuteness and relevance and inspiration that got me years ago...

If that doesn't get you to say "Paper, please" then I'm not sure what will. But I hope it does, you can join me and Kermit in that familiar lament:

Happy Birthday old frog!

the Oxpecker...

So here it is, my blog...a catchy name, a few cool pics, and my thoughts, opinions and rambling should propel me into Internet notoriety, right? (Note to self: possible in for Dancing With the Stars?? It doesn't seems to take much "celebrity" lately... but more on that later).

It started with the catchy name, actually someone elses - my Facebook friend and old schoolmate Eric Wiener. Eric recently started blogging and posting it on Facebook; turns out we share a love for an oh-so-fantastic new show on Fox, Glee. If you're reading this blog I'm sure you're aware by now of my Glee-love, so as you can imagine I was hooked on Eric's blog from the start...and I wanted to comment on his blog and let him know I enjoyed it and say "keep it up Eric Wiener!" (as he seemed so desperate for) but I couldn't...no blog account or Google account or whatever account was necessary to become a fan of "I Read it on the Bathroom Wall". And believe me, I was a fan - so the seeds of blogging were sewn.

But what to blog about? Well, I already share enough about my family, job, life with my 152 friends everyday on the afore-mentioned social networking site; and this being the whole entire Interweb I figured a little less openness is in order. Certainly I have opinions...on politics and pop culture and world events and whatnot...and it would be nice to voice those - but how to tie it all together??

And then it happened - right on my favorite twice-afore-mentioned social networking site - inspiration in the form of an obscure-reference status update "Weaver is an oxpecker between rhinos". Not only was it a perfect metaphor for my friend the Weaver (not to be confused with Wiener) and his long-standing job/city/girlfriend changing ways, but a catchy-quirky title for a blog that will probably hop around from topic to topic...picking my way through them all.

I'll start with an easy one that will let me test my new blog-building-video-linking skills, and maybe generate some traffic - the video speaks for itself. All I can say on this one is Oh my, Elizabeth Lambert, oh my goodness...